ParentHelm

Parenting plan checklist

A parenting plan is the written version of how you will share the children: the schedule, holidays, school, health, money, and how you handle changes. Use this list to see what you have covered and what still needs a conversation, then print a summary for yourselves or for a mediator.

What makes a plan work day to day

Plans that hold up tend to be specific where arguments start (times, places, notice periods) and flexible where life changes (how to agree a swap). The regular schedule is usually the easiest part to write down; holidays and money are where most of the later friction comes from, so it is worth being precise about them.

If you have not settled on a weekly pattern yet, try a few in the schedule builder to see how each looks across a whole year.

The checklist

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The regular schedule

  • Weekly pattern

    Which nights are with which parent in a normal fortnight? (2-2-3, 5-2-2-5, week on week off, every other weekend…)

  • Handoffs

    What time, where (school, a home, somewhere neutral) and who drives?

  • Calls with the other parent

    Can the children call or video the other parent, and roughly when?

Holidays and special days

  • Winter holidays

    Split the break in half, alternate years, or swap Christmas Eve and Christmas Day?

  • Thanksgiving and long weekends

    Alternate each year, or follow the regular schedule?

  • Summer

    Longer blocks with each parent? How much notice for vacation dates?

  • Birthdays

    The children’s birthdays, and each parent’s. Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.

  • Religious and cultural days

    Any days that matter to one family more than the other.

School, health and activities

  • School decisions

    Who chooses schools, who gets the school emails, who goes to parent evenings?

  • Medical and dental

    Who books appointments, who has the insurance, how are emergencies shared?

  • Activities

    Who signs them up, and who takes them when it’s not your night?

Money

  • Shared costs

    Which costs are shared (trips, braces, childcare), in what split, and how fast is the other parent paid back?

  • Receipts

    Is a photo of the receipt enough? How are disagreements handled?

Communication and changes

  • How you talk

    One channel for child matters (an app, email), and how quickly to reply.

  • Swapping days

    How much notice for a swap, and does a swapped night have to be made up?

  • Travel

    Notice for trips out of state or abroad, and who keeps the passports.

  • New partners

    When are new partners introduced, and do overnight guests matter?

  • When you disagree

    Mediation first? Reviewing the plan once a year as the children grow?

This is a list of topics, not a legal document or a template for a court filing. ParentHelm keeps a dated record of your schedule, swaps, expenses and messages. It does not give legal advice, and it is not a court-approved or court-mandated service. For advice about custody or a parenting plan, talk to a family lawyer or mediator where you live.